Taylor Swift – in Elie Saab. Who else? It’s always Taylor Swift. Swifty sitting there in the front row, bopping along out of time, with jerk body movements and arms out wide, moving worse than your mum. Some advice: you have nothing to provide, you’ve made it. Just SIT DOWN and enjoy it. The dress: bloody awful. A techni-coloured mermaid-skirt which doesn’t know whether it is shorts or a dress, blue or green, a cut-out or peek-a-boo. No boo. Just no, to all parts of you.