Big and bushy: just the way he likes it

Imagine two types of women and two types of men, divided by dress.

In the one corner we’d have the women who dress for men (short, tight and tits) sizing up against the women dressed for women: jump suits, maxi dresses, boyfriend jeans, high-waisted anything, geometric-cut dresses, platform brogues). Then in opposite corners would be the men who dress for women: wearing clothes, who would be scoffing at the men who dress for men: bearded, big and bushy.

It’s been scientifically proven.

It actually hasn’t, not all of it. What has been uncovered, by a Sydney scientist via a few years of study, is a big, bushy beard is basically adorned by man for the benefit of man.

Dr Barnaby Dixon from the University of NSW Evolution and Ecology Research Centre has been undertaking research into male and female attitudes toward beards for several years and believes his studies show men are subconsciously growing beards to advertise their masculinity to other heterosexual men.

So it’s a mine can grow bigger than yours type of thing. It’s more believable now, isn’t it?

This type of style one-up-manship is probably only made possible by the fact that men have been more comfortable displaying their femininity via dress for sometime now. Take my three great/not-so-great loves of the last decade and their dress habits as an example: year 12 I went out with a boy who wore turtleneck knits; uni and my lad cut styles into his own hair and painted patterns on his Dunlop Volleys; professional years and my Great Love boasts exactly that which Barnaby (the Sydney Doctor) is on about – a beard, big and bushy. Without one’s turtleneck in a lovely itch-free wool, would another have shaved decoration into the side of his head and the current been comfortable sprouting coarse hair from his chin?

Banaby’s research also found heterosexual men rate full beards as more attractive than women. And yet men are still sporting the big bush, just like I’m still wearing jumpsuits. Break this comment down and what we’re being told is men are wearing beards for other men, or men are styling themselves for other men.

Men are just like women.


I think I like them more.

hipster-beard-pbr copy

*Image from The National Inquisition

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