Matters of the heart

Romance, it’s a funny thing. We come to know about it through any number of mediums and while experience is clearly a weighty factor in our knowledge gain, so too are many things Hollywood. It also seems to me, that romance is a skill more easily scripted than enacted.

A recent scenario played out by a close friend left me questioning whether romance-in-reality actually works. To be clear, I’m talking about confessions of love and catching a partner; not romance within relationships, but the preceding side.

My friend wanted to confess their love. I suggested doing it the tried and tested way (albeit slower): get drunk, make-out and repeat process until comfortable to do so sober. And mid-week sober. And then talk feelings. My friend took the Hollywood route.

I admire the courage and sincerity involved in the confession. It took guts. It also didn’t go to plan. It does though on the silverscreen (why is it silver?). There, it works super well. Romantic gestures are greeted with gushes and acceptance and full romantic carry-on.

But romance from Hollywood never plays out the same in real life. We’ve been conditioned to expect big and sweeping gestures – think Kris ‘Played’ Humphries and the marriage proposal to Kim ‘I’ll do anything for ratings’ Kardashian. I am embarrassed to use this as an example, but it seems to me to prove my point: while the romantic gesture worked for the proposal, for getting the girl to say yes, in reality, the situation was far different. His sweeping gesture won the day and no doubt the ratings that evening, but the reality of the situation was it didn’t bloody work, did it?

Why he didn’t hang out for a bit more, get her pissy a few more times, get comfortable and keep his looong legs straight, is beyond me? I imagine he’d have had a bit of spontaneous fun and figured things out before getting all wound up and convinced by producers his heart to lay it on the line.

Romantic and up-front gestures may work on the screen, but in real life, it’s a different story. Everyday life doesn’t often feature rose petals, but does alcohol. It’s fun and it’s easy and our guards are loosened. When dealing with matters of the heart, I often think it pays to walk with caution. To give in little bits and save on the massive steps.

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